Have you ever been hurt? I mean really hurt to the point that it consumes you and you really don't know how to move past it. You want to move on, but you just don't know how because the hurt runs too deep. We know that God wants us to love people and forgive those who have acted wrongly toward us, but can it really be as simple as saying, "I forgive you?" When something happens in our lives that attaches great emotions to it, I believe there is a process of healing that has to take place. Forgiveness is a huge part of the healing process.
Joseph is a great example to learn from when it comes to forgiveness. His brothers hated him, contemplated his murder, and resorted to staging his death and selling him, which lead to his slavery in Egypt. Even still, Joseph learned how to forgive them.
Here are four things that God revealed to me to help with forgiveness. It isn't always easy, but it is absolutely necessary in order to be obedient to God and thrive in the calling God has for you.
Joseph is a great example to learn from when it comes to forgiveness. His brothers hated him, contemplated his murder, and resorted to staging his death and selling him, which lead to his slavery in Egypt. Even still, Joseph learned how to forgive them.
Here are four things that God revealed to me to help with forgiveness. It isn't always easy, but it is absolutely necessary in order to be obedient to God and thrive in the calling God has for you.
1. Forget the Pain
Forget the pain and the difficult relationships of the past. The pain was real, but it does not have to be relevant anymore. Joseph had two sons mentioned in Genesis 41:51-52. The first son was named Manasseh, which means "making forgetful." God had made Joseph forget his pain from the past. Satan will try to make you feel hurt as long as you will let him. We have to learn to forget the past.
2. Focus on the Blessings
There are blessings to be received right now. These blessings are what our attention should be drawn to. Philippians 4:8 says:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Joseph's second son was named Ephraim, which means "fruitfulness." God had caused Joseph to be fruitful in the land of his affliction. The pain was real, but the pain brought about blessings too. John 16:21 says:
A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
Does a woman really forget that she had pain in childbirth? I have five children, and two of them were born with no pain medication given to me. I can still tell you today, that it was painful when I gave birth to each of them. To forget pain doesn't mean that we don't remember there being existence of pain. It means that the pain is gone and replaced with something far more joyous as a result of the pain. You will not hear me dwell on the pain of childbirth, but you will hear me dwell on the goodness of my children. In order to forgive, we must think on the things that are good.
3. Free the Person of Consequences
We mustn't hold people responsible for their wrong doing toward us. Rather, we should recognize that God will work ALL things together for good. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. His ways are far above man's ways. Joseph reassured his brothers that he would not repay evil with evil. Genesis 20:50 says:
Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Jesus teaches us how to handle forgiveness with kindness. Mathew 5:44 says:
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you
Sometimes we may be tempted to pray consequences upon someone. Instead, we need to pray blessings upon those we want to forgive.
4. Find Composure
During the process of healing and forgiving, there will be times when we will want to utterly lose control with our emotions. Bitterness (the absence of forgiveness) has a way of destroying both the one whom it indwells and anyone else around. We would all do well to find composure and not let our emotions run rampant. Even though other people who have hurt us may never apologize or correct their error, we must keep our composure around them. Weep, if we must, in solitude and cling to God. When Joseph's brothers first approached him in Egypt unaware of who he was, Joseph turned away from them and wept. Then, he returned to them. It was a hard thing, I imagine, for him to stand before them, but he kept his composure when it was needed and wept privately. (Gen 42:24)
Forgiveness isn't always easy, but it is always necessary. I mess up so many times, and I am glad that God always forgives me. We must forgive others in order to heal from any situation, and when we do, then God can use us.
Are you dealing with forgiveness right now? What things have helped you to forgive and heal?
RSS Feed
